The following is a document of nearly everything: pallid do-it-yourself guides for constructing cardboard ziggurats, solo squirms featuring fish-headed pariahs, and the interventions with ventilation hoses, anti-friends, and details suitable for a futurist cookbook full of mesmerizing obscurity. Also featured here are group collaborations, parades, radio appearances, the off-and-on art installation, athletic and offensive actions, interruptions, and tours featuring a litany of cohorts, buddies, and even the occasional nimrod.
Please bear in mind that this list has NOT been updated from day one, so the grammar might be a few apostrophes off. That said, find a comfy chair, squint your eyes, and enjoy the parables! Crank Sturgeon. Crank Sturgeon was something of a crazy little breech-birth, an odd fingerling formed and seduced out of its primordial goo in the year Starring in a bunch of art school nude ballets with chainsaws and a number of passionately obtuse "art bands", the fish-like transmogrification hadn't quite revealed itself, although there were plenty of paper bag helmets, golden undersea ziggurat-like costumes, and even an early depiction of Huso here and there that alluded to his nib's future self-actualization.
Then, one summer, Crank went wandering off and met some lovely new friends, as lovely and as kindred as his college brethren. Deeply moved, the following marks Sturgeon's first award-winning ten minute act of Huso-indoctrinated calumny Appearing in a triangular fishy-head and tremulous voice, Crank as El slushed an amplified water bottle about the theatre while wailing to the deaf gods his plight something about mystical visions that occurred following a tasty meal of a 13 foot sturgeon, aptly named, Huso.
The raucous that ensued would be the clatter-some earmark for rest of this tale, and probably to this day -- that is to say, an ongoing saga about falling down a lot, wearing impossible costumes, taking on impossible tasks, all accompanied with the perennial wagging trail of contact mics. Exact date unknown. May "Anti-first", Clog was a cardboard robot and old pal of Crank. The two decided to team up with amplified toys, cardboard props, and a show that mostly involved hitting each other.
At their debut show, they still hadn't decided on a project name yet. So at this very first public outing, the last name on the list was declared, but only seemed to ensure an even-more abstruse destiny, not to mention, uncertainty in a hetero-normative indie-dominated music scene.
