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It all stems from when I saw a pirated copy of the film Piranha through the crack of the living room door as a six year old. I slept disjointedly on the offer and reluctantly agreed the next day. After an atypically raucous and alcohol fuelled early flight, we dumped our bags at our concrete monolith of a hotel and headed in to the city centre.
Only a few weeks before, the England football team had played Slovakia for the first time since the Velvet Divorce of and the city was still reverberating from the invasion of the boorish English underclass. The disdain for anything remotely related to Blighty was very palpable and we were already attracting some very dismissive looks from the locals.
This weekend now needed to be a very successful public relations exercise if we were going to make in out the other side with our dignity in tact. As with any trip to a continental city steeped in history and architectural beauty, a group of discerning young male travellers will naturally gravitate towards the same central point of local interest β the mock Irish pub.
As we entered the bar it was very evident that a lot of effort had been made to create the aesthetic of being in a little corner of Ireland. It was very early on a Friday afternoon when we ordered that first round and had only a small spattering of clientele spread thinly across the establishment for company. We found a long table that we could all fit around, had the obligatory tray of Guinness delivered to us by a waitress that already knew she was in for a rough time and began the process of getting rapidly drunk.
After a couple of hours of the descent in to inebriation, things had started to get a little out of control. Just then, from my vantage point at the head of the table, I witnessed three extremely well built men enter the bar β decked head to toe in designer clothing and wearing sunglasses on a day that could best be described as distinctly overcast.