My parents came from farming families and my dad worked in a factory. When I graduated from high school, I went to a military academy in New York.
Only the seniors were allowed to have cars, so most of us took opportunities to travel to New York City through various clubs that bused us down on weekends. My roommate Pat, a street-wise city boy from Los Angeles, and I went down on one trip. As we walked down one street, we saw a man with a small folding table with a crowd.
Curious, I walked up to see what the commotion was about, while Pat kept walking. He had three half walnut shells and a pea, and was shuffling them around then asking the people to bet on which shell held the pea. I followed along and guessed correctly…out loud. When I told Pat my story, he sprung into action to find the con man who had stolen my money, but he was long gone. Everyone is not to be trusted and we live in a culture where illusions and lies, smoke and mirrors, mislead us, and where people make money off those false beliefs.
Covenant Eyes recently sent me an invite to join an online conference called the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation Global Summit. It was one of the most enriching experiences of my recovery yet. So often our recovery journeys focus on learning our addictive cycles, managing our triggers and emotions, going to counseling and joining groups…learning to connect to ourselves, our God and to our brothers.
Amends is just one of the steps, further down the checklist, usually involving anxiety, but critical if we ever hope to restore what the locusts have eaten. It requires reflection and empathy to see beyond our pain to the pain we have caused others. Learning to see the larger contributions of a culture that fosters sexual exploitation, the reality of those trapped in bondage, and owning our part in that system, is likewise difficult, but necessary.
