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Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free- and looking for a government handout, a free lunch and a dental plan too- the wretched refuse of your teeming shore, your unwashed yellows and browns and all colors in between, Jews and gentiles, Muslims and Hindus and anyone else with funny hats, and we will make fun of them. And now the white ladies. Gosh, Nancy, I just don't know what to do.
What's the matter, Sue? Last week a man moved into the house next door, and he's African-American. But when we were introduced, I wasn't overcome with feelings of rage or animal fear. Gee, Sue, sounds like you've met a non-threatening black man. A non-threatening black man? What's that? A male Negro who fails to trigger the customary fight-or-flight response in Caucasian women due to his nonspecific physical and socio-cultural attributes, like Al Roker or Bryant Gumbel. But if he's a non-threatening black man, why isn't he a newscaster?
Oh, Sue, not every non-threatening black man is a newscaster. Some of them work in advertising and politics. Is that allowed? In some states. Gosh, this is all so confusing. What should I do? He may be non-threatening to you, but your property values won't know the difference. You're right. I'll go home and start packing right away. But what'll I tell the kids? Tell them to fear people who are different.
Thanks, Nancy. What would I do without you? And now please join us in the singing of our national anthem, performed today by international recording artist and fourth runner-up in the Miss Newark beauty pageant Miss Tarnishe D'Silver. Bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom Wah wah wah ooh Bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom Wah wah wah ooh Bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom Wah wah wah ooh Bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom bom bom Dip-dip dee bom Wah wah wah ooh.
