In tantra, we connect with our partner on a personal level. We also connect with the universal sexual chi or energy that is in our partner's body as an energetic life force. One way to do this is through the lingam massage. Yes, this is a fancy name for a hand job. But it's done with more thoughtfulness, respect, care, and desire to bring selfless pleasure to your partner. A lingam massage is a tantric sex practice focused on massaging the penis. Unlike your average hand job, the lingam massage involves not only massaging and stroking the penis but can also incorporate more advanced techniques, including the testicles, perineum, and the prostate aka the Sacred Spot as well.
The lingam massage isn't about having one orgasm and being done. Instead, it's about trying to feel more and more pleasure that will become waves of multiple orgasms throughout the massage. Yes, multiple orgasms aren't just for people with clitorises! Lingam is the Sanskrit word for penis and loosely translates to "wand of light. The yoni massage might be considered the equivalent of the lingam massage, just performed on people with vaginas.
When you bring your partner pleasure through their "wand of light," you are filled with that same energy or light in a conscious exchange of energy in giving and receiving pleasure. A big part of sacred sexuality is learning to love the penis and not be afraid of it. Many women I work with are still not totally comfortable with handling a man's penis. If that is the case for you, take some time to reflect on any negative impressions you may have inherited from your parents or your culture.
Lingam massage is a practice that truly honors the penis and those who have them. We do it to give them pleasure. There is also a tremendous amount of sexual energy or chi in a person's penis, and learning how to stimulate and circulate it is very powerful. When I went to India to study tantra and yoga, I was shocked at first to see statues of the Shiva lingam that represented the God Shiva.
For most people, it represents a state of meditation. But for ancient tantric practitioners, this held a secret meaning: that this powerful God energy was in the penis, which was thought to contain the most masculine essence concentrated in one place. Think of it this way: Sacred sex is about approaching your partner's body as a temple and their penis as the most holy place of all.
